Many Texas readers are familiar with the phrase “kill them with kindness.” It is often used as advice for individuals who are dealing with some sort of contention, whether at work, with a friend or in a social setting. The saying is meant to suggest that when a person wants to win another over to his or her side, it is often better to be unfailingly kind and considerate rather than adversarial. This approach yields results, and it can also be applied within the context of child custody matters.
Divorce can bring on a wide range of emotional reactions, many of which are out of character for both parties. When child custody comes into play, spouses can become incredibly combative because they see the issue as one in which they are losing time with their children. Often, the relationship between parents degrades to the point that it seems impossible to find middle ground on any given issue.
In such cases, parents should try to be as amenable as possible. This can mean going out of one’s way to accommodate a change in the custody schedule that will benefit the other parent. It might mean giving up a Saturday visit so that the kids can see their grandmother who is in from out of town. It could mean picking up extra tickets to a child’s game or performance so that the other parent can attend and bring a guest, or it could be as simple as ordering extra copies of school photos to send to one’s former spouse.
By taking the first step and acting in a congenial manner, a Texas parent is laying the groundwork for an improved relationship with the other parent. Even if those efforts are not returned in kind, the act of being considerate and kind will give kids an excellent example of how to conduct themselves as adults. It is never too late to try and be kind and considerate toward one’s former partner, and doing so could lead to a decrease in the number and intensity of arguments over various child custody matters.
Source: The Huffington Post, “How To Divorce Like A Grown-Up (And Co-Parent Like One, Too)“, Brittany Wong, Feb. 29, 2016